Personal note from Jen

Upon arriving back in Thailand immediately there are several challenges facing us.
1. Our apartment had some issues with bugs, unwanted additions such as 2 refrigerators in the middle of our kitchen, and our internet isn’t working.
2. Serious jetlag. We have yet to even come close to a full night sleep.
3. The biggest challenge is some situations we face with having to start over with some things we had worked so hard on this past year.

As we begin having meetings about what has been happening while we have been gone and what that means for the future, I have mixed emotions about being back. My frustration skyrockets and discouragement sets in, but I constantly have to go back to God and leave it in His hands. God is my rock, my unmoving foundation; no matter the crazy circumstances swirling around me He is my constant that brings peace to my soul. Though part of me wants to turn back and run to America, I know I would be running from God and God doesn’t just let us run without chasing after us. (The story of Jonah and the whale comes to mind.) As the overwhelming feelings come upon me, I make myself breathe and step away from my own thoughts and feelings, and lift my eyes up to God. I pray. I know my God hears me. I know He will answer. He will guide me. I must trust Him. He is my Sovereign Helper and in Him I find hope, strength, and refuge.

I read this today: “Missionaries are just super-dependent people relying on a super powerful God!” How true it is. I must rely completely on Him. (Note: We are all missionaries.) I must fall on my face before Him and lay down all my burdens upon Him. He is my Burden Bearer. I feel better. I have peace. His Word, His promises, His Presence, His sovereignty, His forgiveness, comforts me and is like water to a thirsty soul in a dry and weary land.

On the first night back in Thailand, Steph and I both found ourselves wide awake at midnight. So we decided we would watch a movie to not wake ourselves up to much and hopefully fall back asleep. We decided to watch a movie someone bought us in the US, “Facing the Giants”. I found myself going back to the message of the movie in the middle of some conversations. Though I feel like I am facing huge obstacles and a big giant, I remember that I serve a big God! Where does my help come from…from the Lord! Impossible circumstances are just opportunities to prove His unstoppable power; when we are weak and dependent on Him, He is strong. Nothing is impossible with my God! Oh how I praise Him! I praise Him when we win, and I praise Him when we lose. He uses everything for His purposes and His glory. Defeat is just temporary for victory is sure to come with my Victorious God! “Jesus is all I need. He is more than enough for me!” – Kari Jobe “Healer”